18 feels the same

we are all so lost.

that’s the only thing i know i know.

being a kid is so scary.

i keep staying up all night,

listening to the same song for seven hours

so many times the beat is permanently ingrained in my mind

the next day i find myself tapping along on anything i can

with bags under my eyes just as heavy as my soul

and my mind racing, terrified of not becoming anything

the truth is i still don’t know who i am

but i have to pretend i do

because no matter how many times i’m told its okay

i’m just a kid

it never feels real

it feels like im falling behind in a race i can’t win

so i just sit on my bed

lights off

wrapped in memories of things i lost

and i write frantically

all the feelings making my chest tight

seeing them on a page makes them feel smaller

 

i still feel like i can only write in cliches

 

at least they’re mine

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